MOM PROBLEMS #05032017: TILTED CACTUS DIY

We’ve all been there. We, the moms of 24/7 motherhood. A long day, turns into a rough week, on top of a long month, accumulating together with the last “you can’t remember how long, but it’s been eons” amount of years. 

(Duh. Seven. It’s been seven years, the age of your oldest child. What kind of a mother are you? Sigh. Motherhood dementia: 1. Shelly: 0.)

This is how it rolls, when a mom such as this, gets something “cute and unnecessary” for herself, just because it seemed like a wonderful treat on a long week. This is proof not all clever, crafty DIY ideas are created equal, nor that all beautifully captured ideas on a Pinterest blog should be taken seriously. (With an luck, maybe my fingers will be healed enough the next time I find the replacement pinned idea, so that I can transplant them all. Cactus. Why did I have to choose a plant with spikes?)


Surely, this wasn’t intentional? Honest, I didn’t foresee this! Never once did I envision a need to calculate angles! There is no subliminal message about potty training, or adult time. This wasn’t a feminist joke of some sort, planted to drive party guests crazy in my kitchen. It was purely a cute mini cactus hoping for a better life on my kitchen windowsill. Sadly, fate was horribly cruel to this child of Mother Earth, when Home Depot scanned its UPC, deeming it to the life I had planned for it; a life of cleverly, yet undisclosed even to myself, planned ridicule. (Here’s hoping plants can’t actually “talk” to each other, because I seriously don’t need more mini people fighting amongst themselves, the next 1000 times I make a cheese sandwich.)



Yes, it isn’t just your mind taking this picture and distorting it. Somehow, I’ve ended up with a very fashionable, male-impostering cactus on my kitchen windowsill. Planted ever so delicately it in this little, cheery orange ceramic pitcher from the 1960s, I’ve had saved for some special purpose for what seems like forever. How could I have ever envisioned by nature of the spout, “Cheeky P. Cactus” would stand somewhat comically erect once planted in it?

And, there you have it “Mom Who Never Does Anything for Herself:” Sometimes, life just throws you curve balls, or a “tilted” grafted cactus (whatever you want to call it!), and you just have to make the best of a hilarious crafting “fail.” 

Perhaps, Mama Chickpea should make it some clay eyes and a nose, just to make the joke even more ridiculous? Could it be possible “Cheeky” just wants the room to know he’s there? Maybe this is an opportunity to see a hilarious comedic spoof instead of seeing the pitcher half empty and sitting lonely in the back of my storage cupboard? At least I’m laughing…at myself…and, my embarrassed little cactus friend. He’s surely a centerpiece for conversation at the next Arroyo house party. 


UPDATE: Mr. Cheeky P. Cactus wins MOST HANDSOME CACTUS! 


ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Shelly Arroyo, aka SuperMom & Mama Chickpea

When she’s not doing kinder homework or making yet another cheese sandwich cut into finger shapes, she loves doing crafts with her kiddos, shopping Pinterest for new things she’ll never have time to try, playing cars with Barbies, building Legos, and cuddling with her minions. Like any 24/7 mom, she cherishes her brief gym time, and her daily shower in peace, while the kiddos are at school.

#whenlifegivesyouatiltedcactus #polymerclayeverything #greenthumb #angularlychallenged #pinterestfail #lmao #mamachickpea #momproblems #mommoments

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